Pictures soon to follow:
I just bought a used missionary car from the Chicago South mission of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Let me tell you all why you should buy a mission car:
-They are dirt cheap (we got our 2007 Chevy Malibu for less than $7,000 with 46,000 miles on it)
-They have only been used for 50,000 miles or less (although its like dog years--50,000 missionary miles is like 100,000 normal miles)
-The cars have been officially dedicated for the preaching of the gospel. The best part here is that there is a little sign that has been super-glued to the top of the stereo that the car has been dedicated for the preaching of the gospel. The sign is strategically located so that it covers the stereo. This supposedly is so the car is broken into less often.
-The missionaries keep an accident reporting of the car and how many times the car has been in accidents. Ours has only been in three accidents. Reading the reports is so funny because the Elders blame each other. The driver says "Elder Provo didn't navigate very well so we hit into the parked car..." Meanwhile, Elder Smith writes, "Elder Lehi was thinking about his future wife and didn't watch the road or listen to me when I pointed out the parked car in front of us..."
-Only been broken into and had the radio stolen out of it one time. Not bad for South Chicago.
-All missionary cars have had a permanent clip inserted into the winshield to carry pass-along cards. The senior missionary couple gave us five hundred pass along cards to take with us.-In the spare-tire compartment, some missionary left his baptismal pants. Bonus!
-If you get in good with the fleet coordinator (aka "car czar"), then he will tell you all sorts of funny things that happened in the car, like when Elder Tonga laughed so hard he peed his pants in the car, etc.
-The car Czar couple liked me so much they gave me a certificate titled, "Celestial Car Award", which is usually reserved only for those missionaries who keep their car the cleanest in the zone. For the record, you get 75 extra miles per month with a Celestial Car Award, thank you very much Elder and Sister Rexburg Idaho.
For the record I gave away my first pass along card today. It was great. I was at a stoplight here in Chicago and some guy came and cleaned my windshield and then held out his hand. Perfect! Its as if he was asking for a pass along card (of course I gave him two bucks in addition). It was too late when I realized that the pass along card was advertising the 2008 Nauvoo Pageant! The senior missionary couple gave me EXPIRED Pass along cards with my new ride!
Right now a mission near you is selling their inventory of 2007 Chevy Malibu's, 2006-2008 Toyota Corrolla's, or 2006-2008 Mazda 3's just like me. The big news is that the missionaries are now getting the Ford Fusion! Can't hardly wait three years until those babies are up for sale!
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9 comments:
That is cracking me up- thanks for the laugh and have a great time in your new celestial automobile!
Awesome post. The expired pass-along cards!! So funny.
this post was pure awesomeness. I remember my mission car and calling our fleet coordinator at the end of every month to beg for more miles.
Totally awesome. I laughed so hard I spit up my diet coke. Seriously.
This was classic.
we got our car out here in hali the exact same way - although there is a stain on one of the car mats and some of our radio dials were set to rap stations so it must be more of a telestial malibu.
it's all making sense now...this is why our car veers toward starbucks along the road and blinks its lights at the clubbers when we drive through downtown.
oprah would be proud of this aha moment.
God bless you, and God bless your Malibu.
This post makes me so glad that you are my friend!
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